“If you’re depressed, if you’re anxious, you’re not weak, you’re not crazy. You’re not a machine with broken parts. You’re a human being with unmet needs.” - Johann Hari
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder by my therapist in October of 2021, and I am currently taking antidepressants. While I do currently feel a lot better than I have in a long time, I don’t think I can solely thank the antidepressants or even small adjustments to my daily routine for this shift. A lot of the commonly suggested “cures” for depression include things like working out, taking a shower, spending time in nature, eating healthy, etc. While I think these tips can be extremely helpful, I feel like I owe a majority of my improvement to the more substantial shifts I made to my environment and my mindset. I feel like without these more material changes, I might have been functional, but I would never get to the best place I could be.
When we come into this world, we often accept that the way things are is the way they’ve always been and therefore the way they must always continue to be. We often don’t think critically about our day to day actions, environment, obligations, choices, and decisions. We don’t think that it’s possible that things can be different, or we think that there are simply too many barriers in the way to change the way things are. Many of us don’t learn until we’re older, and some of us never learn that the world is set up in so many ways to make our lives more difficult than they actually need to be, particularly the lives of marginalized and oppressed people on this planet. We are socialized to accept the way things are, to keep quiet, to not cause trouble, and to not ruffle any feathers. I first learned about the systems of oppression that were working together to make sure my life, particularly as a black woman in America, sucked in one way or another while reading Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown in September 2020. After realizing this, a huge weight was instantly lifted off my shoulders. In my mind, my suffering was no longer solely my fault. Maybe I couldn’t attribute 100% of my tumultuous mental state with the state of the world, but surely I could attribute some as no one on earth is exempt to the effects of white supremacist patriarchal capitalism. If I were to be happy, it would be in spite of these systems.
I’ve dealt with and currently deal with a lot of insecurities, internal and external. I often hated school and most of the jobs and internships I’ve ever worked at. I found little to no meaning, joy, or fulfillment in them, and this depressed me severely. I was not analyzing the ways systems of oppression made me hate the way I looked and profited off of my self hate. I didn’t consider that large aspects of these institutions were never meant to align with my natural desires, values, or rhythm. They were solely meant to make me a “productive” member of society. Instead, I concluded that I was the problem. I concluded that I was lazy and ungrateful, and I think a lot of us do that. Below, I listed some common things I’ve experienced and/or heard and reframes that have helped me unlearn some of the brainwashing.
Dysfunctional Belief #1: I’m ugly and worthless
Reframe#1: White supremacy teaches us that black features and skin are ugly. Patriarchal ideals only value certain body types and see women solely as sexual objects. Capitalism intentionally tries to make us feel insecure so they can profit off of our insecurities. Capitalism also values us solely for what we can produce, not who we are as people. Race, gender, and age are all social constructs. You’re a beautiful vessel with a divine purpose and you’re perfect just the way you are. You’re worthy simply because you exist. Period.
Dysfunctional Belief #2: I hate school and I hate my job. I have no time to do the things I actually enjoy. But I can’t quit. I have to stay. I have no other option.
Reframe #2: You make the rules. This is your life and you only have one. You actually don’t have to spend most of your life doing things you don’t enjoy. You can change your schedule around. So much of this reality is made up, so you can make up a reality that works better for you. You decide what your priorities are. You can create/design the life you want.
I got the above reframe and dysfunctional belief format as well as lots of other life changing tips from the book, “Designing Your Life,” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
*We do have to make money to survive in this world and some of us are in much more privileged positions than others, but the way we do that and the way we design our lives could likely be much different and much more aligned with our natural desires and rhythm than a lot of us are led to believe is possible. Feeling stuck for long amounts of time in places, cycles, or routines that don’t resonate with my heart/soul makes me depressed. Our imaginations have been stripped from us, but I advise you to take your power back. Dream your dreams. Find the things that truly resonate with your spirit and make you feel alive and do them as much as possible. It’s possible for us all to live the lives we truly want despite what we've been told.
Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know your thoughts!
Below are some additional resources that have helped me cope with my depression:
A beautiful article: https://blackfeministcollective.com/2023/11/18/a-black-teenagers-anecdotal-to-depression/
Johann Hari is the author of “Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope.” He said the quote in the beginning of this essay during a youtube video where he goes more in depth about what he means by that exactly. I think what he’s saying really hits the nail on the head, and I highly recommend reading the book and/or watching the full YouTube video here.
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